...and one amazing year of travel and adventure later. A chapter closed, a new chapter opened. It has been more than a year since I last wrote here, but I feel perhaps that this is the right time to pick up this blog once again and track my thoughts, experiences, and goals.
Jackson was the adventure I needed to have, although not the easy one I had rather naively envisioned. One thing, for sure, that I have learned about life this past year is that for all the desire for adventure a person may espouse, it certainly comes bittersweet when it cannot be shared with the person one loves. For years, I had made a pledge to myself that I would embrace an adventure for a year after college, a time in my life that would present the least number of responsibilities than any other time thereafter, when it truly would be as simple as just picking up and doing it. One can always come up with an excuse that it's not the right time, that money is short, that it is a bad career move, whatever the argument of choice may be. But you know, there is never an ideal time for making such an important decision. But those who are successful in making good ones make the best decision they can with the information at hand, and then they react to the consequences. Life is about sacrifices, and you make sacrifices for the things that are important to you.
This chapter was one of those times. I am passionate about travel, and I see it as a wonderful means for developing oneself as a person. And yet, I always imagined my post grad adventure to be something more along the lines of teaching English in China. Something more... exotic. Foreign. Distant. Unknown. Yet that was before I had someone who truly meant something deeply to me. Ali, the love of my life, is here in DC. His career, his life is here. I wouldn't ask, expect, or even want for him to have gone with me on my adventure. Jackson was about ME. It was my adventure, and if I didn't have such an adventure, I would likely grow to resent the things and the people who prevented it later on. All the more reason I needed to get up and go.
Yet it is impossible, no matter how much you might wish to try, to simply remove oneself from other things while pursuing their own endeavors, which I suppose is what I had originally imagined: an adventure without constraints. But situations change, and with that change one's desires: I love someone, and so an adventure 10,000 miles away in China could never have been the enjoyable adventure I once wanted-- not without having the man I love, who is tied to DC right now, to share it with me. It was hard enough as it was not being able to share the beautiful Tetons with Ali being 2,500 miles away.
Along with my one year gap adventure, of course, comes the question: what's next? What are my career goals? The past two years, I have felt very unsure. I have felt largely burdened by this question for a while now, and it certainly was not a question that was buried away while I was in Jackson. Rather, I carried that question with me often-- which I perhaps regret somewhat, as it didn't help me to simply be in the moment, to be in a state of flow... which I am certain is critical to success in all endeavors, no matter how large or small. The things I confidently thought that I wanted to pursue post grad while I was still in college are no longer the same. Now I'm trying discover what those other things are. And I feel confident that I'm on the right track to setting goals and making them happen. But it is a challenging journey, and one that certainly has no end in close sight.
Then in July, Ali's father passed away unexpectedly. That changed everything. The person I love had a piece of him ripped away. I've never lost a parent, and I've never been so attached to someone else when they have lost their mother or father. Being there for someone grieving such a loss is challenging in more ways than one might imagine. And seeing the person you love hurting... is painful. I won't attempt to speak further about his father's death, because to do so here would mean either writing a novel (that would inevitably still trivialize the experience) or leaving out important details (that would be inappropriate to exclude, and also trivialize the experience). Suffice it to say, this past year has been a great teacher about love. Love does not come easy, it involves challenges, it involves sacrifices... but you do it, because your love for another surmounts those challenges. You're part of a team, and you work together... because you have no other choice but to. Throughout this past year, I have come to discover-- and the path of discovery is long and rocky-- of what it means to truly love another person. Love is not easy, but you invest in it enough and it will carry you through the hard times and the easy.
This past year involved a great deal of exploration and discovery, of the world around me and of myself, and I look back on it and know it was the right choice. But it did not come easy. It included a lot of sacrifice, a lot of loneliness, a lot of learning about myself and about love. It left me feeling unable to fully embrace the experience as I might have originally wished to. And I realize that no matter how I might have sliced it-- whatever my decision to be in DC, Jackson, China, or somewhere else altogether-- my decision could never have been without its flaws. But I know I made the right decision for me.
Deeper reflections aside, I look at my adventure and think, wow. I did that. More travel than most 22 year olds (now 23) should ever be able to recount. One year after leaving for the west, I recount my experiences of the past year or so...
I've driven over 9,000 miles through 22 states. (Listed in order: The journey to Jackson, Wyoming from: Pennsylvania, West Virginia, Ohio, Indiana, Illinois, Missouri, Kansas, Colorado, Wyoming. Then a Coachella roadtrip departing Jackson through Idaho to Utah [Zion], Nevada [Vegas], California [Indio]. Then upon heading back east from Jackson: to Montana, Washington, Oregon, [California], Arizona, New Mexico, Texas, Oklahoma, [Missouri, Illinois, Indiana, Ohio, Pennsylvania,] New York, Connecticut.)
I've explored six national parks. Grand Teton, Yellowstone, Zion, Glacier, Redwoods, and the Grand Canyon.
I enjoyed a trip to Austin, Texas last fall. Go 'horns!
I traveled to the UAE on a trip to Dubai with Ali in March. Pseudo-Middle East.
I enjoyed a trip to Telluride, Colorado with Ali. Blues and brews. Absolutely spectacular. And best yet, I discovered my summer alternative to snowboarding: mountain biking!
Did I mention I became quite the snowboarder? Riding Jackson Hole will do that to you.
...It has been quite the year.
